If you learned that an intruder was planning on breaking into your house, what would you do? Likely, you’d phone the police, hide your valuables, and increase your security. Maybe you’d go Kevin Mcallister on them, and set up booby traps all around your house–just in time to save Christmas, of course.
Regardless of your approach, you would do something to protect your home. You wouldn’t stand by as the intruder rummaged through your belongings or threatened you or your family. You would do everything in your power to safeguard your well-being.
So, why do we let so many intruders into our homes? I’m no longer talking about men in scary masks with weapons. I’m talking about the other things we bring into our homes that don’t serve us; things that make it impossible to experience peace in the environment that should be our haven from the stressful outside world.
For some, these intruders come in the form of transgressions. Think: behaviors that undermine relationships causing arguments or resentment to build….things like lust, ingratitude, or selfish acts. For others, these intruders might be habits like drinking too much, sleeping too little, an addiction to shopping, social media overuse, or watching so many serial killer documentaries or reality series you leave them feeling sleazy or overwhelmed by the darkness in the world. Etc.
Rather than face the truth that these sneaky things may detract from our home environment, we normalize them and make excuses. Rather than sending them packing, we pull up a chair for them, offer them a platter of cookies, and tell them to come back anytime. Never mind the fact that they’re a bit rude and leave crumbs on the floor. Or the fact that your partner is tired of sweeping up after them.
We’re excellent at making excuses for intruders–reasons why it would just be too hard to give up the things that ultimately make us miserable. What we aren’t good at is having the grit to shoo the intruder away once our gut says they’ve arrived. We aren’t good at saying “Get going!” every time that they appear until they simply stop showing up.
My husband and I have a rule that if something feels “off” we don’t do it–especially if it’s something we would be ashamed to tell the other / feel the need to hide. This isn’t to say we don’t make mistakes, because we certainly do. But we’ve found that by listening to our gut which is pretty darn good at telling us when an intruder is afoot, most times, we can turn them away. I have confidence that you can too.
It will take practice. Intruders know exactly how to break in, and how to manipulate you into getting what they want. But once you’ve turned them away for long enough? You’ll wonder why you ever let them in in the first place.
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